30-something white radical nerd lady
transplanted to the East Coast US
happily living in sin with my co-conspirator Mr. Xrantings and ravings, Music, video games, graffiti, punk, postpunk, comics,art, general silliness and GPOB (gratuitous pictures of Bowie).
my Dragon Age sideblog
Other tags of interest - I hate everyone, Places I Wish I Was Right Now, GPOY, owls, you are cordially invited to my pants, OH MY GOD, Favorite of all the things, Maru is the best cat in the whole world
Holy shit you’re all dialoguing about this. I have a handful of stories throughout my career like the one I shared and I was told for so long that it was my fault and it was normal and I had to be more aware and I am here now, older, wiser and I have felt so isolated in my efforts to talk to my fans/followers. Like I was the only one seeing it. The only one speaking out.
The day I took the teenage girl out of the bar in Phoenix and told her to dial her mother’s number I knew she would hate me but the bar was full of grown goddamn men and they refused to protect her. I know now that one of them (a VERY popular artist) slept with her while his longtime girlfriend was at home and now that artist is known for being drunk and off the rails and GODDAMNIT I tried. I tried to help her. I talked to her mother. I talked to the pro who brought her in. I fought. I have always been fighting it feels like.
My first con one of my heroes offered to let me stay in his room so I wouldn’t have to ride the train back and forth to my sister’s and he then told a line of his fans what he was going to do to me that night. Graphic descriptions. The wife of another artist at the booth I was working took me aside and gave me a talking to about how this industry is full of dogs. And how best to be vigilant and avoid them. She told me all these men would ever see in me was the chance to take advantage of me. Unless I wisened up. She talked about me having stars in my eyes. But she also talked to me about my skills I look back now on that day almost 10 years ago and I realize that it is because of those men that I eventually stopped pursuing major publishers.
The editor that stood there, drunk, denying me my box of comps at a show and asking me to keep talking because watching my lips move turned him on. That was the day I cracked, and I left the road for the dirt path less traveled. I still have heroes who’s work I admire. But I stopped wishing to meet them. I stopped feeling like I could be a part of this world I yearned for since childhood.
I live in my cave and I make my comics and I do it for ME. Independent. I will make it alone, or not at all. I just felt like no one cared about change. I fought to hone my craft so I could compete with the boys and then I realized most of the boys don’t like girls so I made my own sandbox. Now, after the BC article, I hear so many voices and my heart hurts, people. I’ve fought from my little corner for quite awhile now and I really felt like I’d be talking about these issues alone FOREVER. Then the cavalry came in. Holy hell.
I don’t hate men in comics as a whole. I met some awesome pros along my journey. #1 on the list of men who have always looked after the womenfolk? Tony Parker. Kevin Eastman brought me in, gave me my foot in the door and took care of me. Lorenzo Sperlonga, too. Craig Hamilton is another awesome guy. Joe Phillips too. I’ve met some awful men. But I’ve met some random gems too. George Perez is one. Joshua Dysart is another. Good men. Strong men all. And madly skilled.
If you’re male and a comic book pro I’m asking you to listen now. It’s just you and me here. I don’t want a job. I make my own way in the world and now that I’m free I don’t know if I’ll ever go back. This isn’t about my career. This is about the fact that the world is watching. The boom has happened. The industry isn’t what it was in the golden years or even in the Image renaissance. This is big, brother. And more and more little girls are growing up believing in the medium. I’m asking you (Yes YOU) to make a point of not being quiet. I know you’re worried about job security, especially with the economy being what it is.I get it. But you’re paving the way for the kids of tomorrow my friend. Do something drastic. Use your imagination. That’s what it’s there for. Be the change you want to see. Don’t just sit there being thankful you’re not “That Guy”. And if you ARE “That Guy”, I don’t hate you. I know you far too well for that. I understand you. You were most every man I knew as a child. You are that which causes so many of us to doubt ourselves. You are the reason I fought for so long to win the game. Only to realize your game isn’t for me. So enjoy your time while it lasts. Comic Book Society won’t look the same once I’m done here. =) I’m not going to be quiet anymore.
I commented on Brandon’s thread because he was being called out for speaking openly about a misogynistic creator who I knew was misogynistic. I’ve told the story before. This time it just happened to be reposted for a larger audience and has sparked debate. I’m not asking anyone to boycott the creator in question. I just agree that the books leave a bad taste in my mouth when they are touted as being the “breath of feminist fresh air” in comics. Irony= misogynist man making comics for women. It’s funny. It’s sad. And don’t you dare call out Brandon or anyone else for speaking truth.
I’m being asked a lot of questions. So here are more answers: Why didn’t I take to social media immediately? I was afraid of being THAT GIRL. I’d been warned it was my responsibility to watch my own back. And I believed it. Why am I willing to talk about it now? Because a MAN in the industry spoke his name first, and was attacked for it. Every time I have talked about it to any of my followers I never revealed his name. Brandon’s tweets made me think twice. Especially now that I am independent. Again, I don’t hate said creator. I never did. It made me feel dehumanized at the time. Even worse was his half hearted apology AFTER giving me a ration of shit, and only because I requested it. Is he a good writer? Of course. Does it make me ill when I see a book of his on the shelf? Indeed. But look at it this way. He is a part of what I had to overcome to find my true path. I’m who I am in part because one of my heroes pretended to like me and tried to trick me into the sack. It took me years to figure out why that situation made me so upset.
My art, for me, is pure. Yes I know I sound crazy. I was young, naive, and got hit on a lot. But to use my work and my hopes for a career against me? That shit left a mark. I didn’t have anyone to look up to as a shining example of how to handle those situations. I knew how to deal with regular guys making passes or being weird. But a man I respected, who worked in the magical industry I thought was full of rebels and freaks like me? The fact that he went out of his way to let me know he thought I was talented and then when he met me and hunted me, and then wrote his room number ON A PIECE OF MY ART?
It still burns, people. I’m allowed to be mad. I’m allowed to talk about it. No matter when it happened. Talking about it is healing. I was hoping to defend a creator by telling my truth. I tripped and found some really awesome folks who fight their own good fights daily. For those worried about him hurting me: He can’t. I’m in my own sandbox, and he’s just some comics guy. What’s he going to do? Tell his friends not to hire me? I’m nobody to him. He made sure to let me know that I was supposed to be grateful for his attention. That I was nothing. He claimed he wanted us to be cool afterwards. I actually tried (oh the stupidity of youth). But he promptly ignored me after that. I picked up. I moved on. I grew up. I met many more of his kind. I got stronger, quicker, bigger and meaner. Now I’m Brienne instead of Book 1 Sansa.
I am the subject of 4Chan threads now. But not only do I have sensible defenders there…the first comments were about how they don’t care what I said because they love my art. Then they shared my art. Repeatedly. #mustbedoingsomethingright No. I don’t hate the creator in question. I just think he’s an asshole. I’m NOT the only woman he’s done this to. But that doesn’t mean I’m asking you to boycott him. If you enjoy his books, more power to you. I don’t. Because he is using women in the industry and female characters as tools for his own gain. He’s a faux feminist. And he smells like butt. And his mama dresses him funny. :) Okay, I might have some minor resentment about his track record of female abuse. Dude. Come on. I’m a free agent. I make comics about a monster, a kid and a drunk cat that are about gender spectrums, old people and muffins. No one can touch me. I’m so far out in left field I can’t even see the stands.
I’m not sure which creator in particular is being discussed here and the sad thing is it could be any one of a whole, whole lot of people. Grossness is really RAMPANT in mainstream comics. Especially at cons.
Indie comics are better anyway.
Ahhhhh there’s so much wrong with that article I can’t even wrap my head around ot
the worst part about it is the comments. Read only if you have a strong stomach because it’s fucking painful.
“One of the most commonly repeated tropes of feminists and manboobs goes something like this: ‘You should be happy that women nowadays are independent, because it means that they’re with you because they WANT to be with you, not because they’re dependent on you.’ This is a fundamental violation of the relationship between men and women. Part of our identity as men based in women needing us.”
Translation: nobody wants me
Natalie Reed, in conversation with me on twitter, on the sexist, infantilizing, and reductive media narratives about Joanna Newsom. She brilliantly synthesizes what we have been saying at Blessing All the Birds since the beginning.
I also think the “fey” words are code for “we do not want to actually engage with this music because doing so would actually mean acknowledging a woman’s words are powerful and intellectual and thus, threatening to patriarchy in music (and the world).” Those words, most importantly, bespeak of the fear of Newsom’s intense and subversive femininity.
I was going to excerpt some of this but it’s all too good and too true to leave out. This goes right back to the classical conception of form (male, intelligent, active) vs. matter (female, instinctive, passive). When you have a musician like Newsom or Bjork or what have you their art is usually presented as something that’s happening through them or to them, like a Delphic oracle. Whereas with a man, a Tom Waits or whoever, they’re always presented as harnessing these forces, as exerting a form of craftsmanship. It’s bullshit, it makes no actual sense, it’s actually harmful, and it’s been happening at least since Plato. And it needs to stop.
1. Does the image show only part(s) of a sexualized person’s body?BMW
2. Does the image present a sexualized person as a stand-in for an object?
3. Does the image show sexualized persons as interchangeable?
4. Does the image affirm the idea of violating the bodily integrity of a sexualized person who can’t consent?
5. Does the image suggest that sexual availability is the defining characteristic of the person?
6. Does the image show a sexualized person as a commodity that can be bought and sold?
Red Tape Shoes
Not sure if I’ve reblogged this before but it’s worth it if I have because so many people get this wrong.
so grossAn excellent list with examples to better understand sexual objectification.
Putting this back on my blog because it’s important.
This rape society didn’t just come out of nothing
This is disgusting.
About ten minutes ago I was on the bus and this couple starts arguing right across from me.
They’re about two feet away and right in my face, so it was a little hard to ignore. The subject of the argument was completely nebulous to me but I thought it was clear that this was a couple about to break up. They were past the point of yelling or any kind of passionate interaction and were around the “quiet contempt” phase.
The woman was trying to tell him something, and although she was angry she was addressing him in a totally quiet and reasonable voice. Within the five minutes I could hear him I heard the man do all of the following:
It was so incredibly insulting I think my jaw actually dropped. I watched him walk away and when I looked back at the woman she was looking at me and our eyes met.
I said, “That guy’s a real asshole.”
She looked back at me levelly and said, “he’s my husband, though.”
And there you have it: the number 1 reason I’m never getting married.
Cue a dozen people telling me their husband’s not like that etc etc etc.
But let’s face it: marriage encourages men to act this way. It treats two people as a legal entity of one in which the husband is the head. Even if those two people don’t agree to it personally, it’s what happens. You get called Mrs. Hislastname even if you DIDN’T take his last name. Mail comes addressed to Mr&Mrs Hisname. Important phone callers ask for the man (and the school always asks for the woman). All your finances & taxes are wrapped up into one package that is expected to be handled by the man.
It’s a slow conditioning that tells the husband to view the wife as a legal appendage that should really be taking better care of his house. Is it any wonder that so many of them eventually dismiss and belittle their wives in this way, as though any thoughts and concerns they might have are so much less than relevant they might as well be a fly buzzing in his ear?
I live with a man. I love him. We enjoy each other. But get married? Nooooooo. No. Nonono. Anybody who wants to get married should be able to, of any gender combination, but as an institution marriage is pretty fucked up.