Dry the Rain

lepus:

Laughing really hard right now

(via glossylalia)

thenoobyorker:

journalofajournalist:

…and The Onion for the win, forever. (via)

Oh my god.

(via therapsida)

sanityscraps:

afternoonsnoozebutton:

spicybutthole:

look at her face

she on a mission

Get it gurl

(via talldarkbishoujo)

anedumacation:

glossylalia:

thesochillnetwork:

What if, indeed.

Good Lord, that brotha is turning into some kind of huge green skinned monster…and it’s super freaky!

this is the best thing i have ever seen in my entire life

nezua:

faboomama:

masteradept:

shehateme:

kidkoni:

jonesydaking:

blacktemple:

buttamack:

Game. blouses

omgg

Probably the greatest thing i ever seen!!!! Prince like never smiles but hes having a good ole time with Dave.

This is one of the best things I’ve EVER seen. EVER.

seriously wonder what has him laughing so hard.

❤❤❤❤

I can die now. Like, for serious.

Also, this is the end of the internet. The whole experiment was just for this one photo to happen. Someone unplug the cable modem.

yeah. this picture makes me very happy. it just goes on and on.

lastlabyrinth:

#I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT I NEED TO WRITE MY NAME FOR

(via rararamyeon)

annaham:

nova-bright:

do not antagonii2e the bee2

[Description: Photo of Burt’s Bees lip balm packaging altered to refer to the famous scene in Neil LaBute’s remake of The Wicker Man.]

viviandemilo:

queercakes:

stfuhatemongers:

curiousmeans:

propaganda-for-life:

fuerdiefreiheit:

bensci:

[Image: a black and white photo of dead or unconscious fetus inside a hanging condom. End description.]

Choice - © Ben Scicluna

oh god I don’t think I’ve ever seen bullshit like that before. It actually made me laugh.

Is that… a fetus… in a condom…

I can’t even. Whut.

I don’t understand what this is saying. I mean, I do, but…the logistics of this…are more hilarious than horrifying. 

BTW- Preformation theory died years ago, guys. Come on. 

Why would they desecrate a dead “baby” this way?
If it were my still born fetus or miscarriage i’d be horrified and i’m pro-choice with a passion.
It is just so wrong…
Also hilarious.

If you or someone you know is ejaculating fetuses, please seek medical attention. 

Uhhhhhh……what?

Anyway, there goes my boner.

ancient people believed a man’s “seed” contained the super-tiny infant, which grew in a woman’s body after he planted it there. The woman didn’t contribute anything, she was just the incubator.

glad to see we’ve come so far.

90s90s90s:

Jessie Pinkman (Aaron Paul) from Breaking Bad in a Corn Pops commercial (1999)

(via thartist72)

lau-ra-sau-rus:

curiousgeorgiana:

ebullientefflorescence:

thegirlwiththebaddragontattoo:

level55:

sleepysketchu:

movingconstantly:

justastupidhoe:

sageofmagic:

… Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.
Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which was seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.
Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.
As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.
“Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”
Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.
“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.”
Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently.
Hilda looked at him expectantly.
“Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”
At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.
Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.
Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.
Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!
The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room.
Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.
She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”
But her bed was empty.
Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.

this is so terrible

I want so bad to make a dramatic reading of this

I lost it at throbbing meat wand omg

what.

i want this on my blog forever holy shit

holy

shit

How in the hell did this get published?! Oh my gawd. That has to be one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. 

Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.

wow, there is so much going on here that is just not sexy at all. does this author know what boobs are? or metaphors? or parkinson’s? or abs?

I am suddenly nostalgic for the days when my high school girlfriends and I would hold dramatic readings of terrible romance novels. Although we usually used V.C. Andrews, which is not nearly as terrible as this. This is a special achievement in Terrible.

(via athenasaurus)

(via beneaththeleaf)